Pull Up Your Big Girl Camouflage Grannies

Posted by admin on October 8, 2009 · Leave a Comment

tree Whenever I write about myself it is never flattering. I am very open with all of my outdoor insecurities. You all are very aware of my outdoor attack I’d have the minute I’d step foot in the woods because I just know a squirrel would makes its way in my hair. Those kind of things do happen and I would end up on the news. My news story would never read, “Girl in Woods Gets 20 pt Buck” no, my news story would read “Girl in Woods Gets Squirrel Clawed”.

From the way I portray myself, I often wonder what some of you amazing outdoor women really think of me. Because we all know you could careless if I got a pedicure today with a cute little flower on my big toe. No, these women are flipping around the net reading about this one hog tied an elk, this one wrestled a gator, this one tackled a bear, or this one that lived in the woods for a year. And then there’s me…

I can only imagine some of the things they think or say about me:

Her hair really does look like a nice comfy squirrel’s nest.

That Hunter’s Wife has no business running an outdoor site, she might break a nail.

Good god women, it’s only a spider.

I’m sure she has tinkled at the gas station sometime in her life and those can be some nasty s#itters. So what’s so bad about the woods?

She’ll shoot her eye out.

A couple more cupcakes and she will tip the boat over.

With all that whiskey, she will fall in the campfire.

Would you pull up your big girl camouflage granny panties already.

And she probably really does wear grannies.

I think I need to make a list of things I need to start experiencing before I attempt to meet any of these outdoor women.

Have a good day all…I’m off to complete #1 on my list…I need to go find me a tinkle tree.

Let’s hope “Girl Tinkling in Woods” isn’t tomorrow’s headline.

P.S. – I’m did a guest post at Surf and Sheds about Wendy’s son’s first deer.